" Ça m'en touche une, sans faire bouger l'autre." Jacques Chirac
Watches Reviews

Omega Speedmaster Professional: the Legend 2/4

Le 1 April 2015

Hei alle sammen,

The rockets nuts therefore needed a watch that could give the hour (in addition to the dashboard clock), but above all, they needed a chronograph:

  • all missions are based on on a program organized to the nearest second, and it could be vital to have an individual stopwatch at one’s disposal in certain situations.

In 1969 (année érotique…), three daredevils landed successfully on the moon: once again, the Speedmaster-pro took part in it, and this masterful step in the lunar dust added the famous “The first watch worn on the moon” to its celestial title. This was engraved later on the back of the watch.

Omega Speedmaster (6)

  • During the mission Apollo XIII, with its

“Hello Houston, we are in an intersideral shit”,

being equipped with an individual chronometer gets essencial.
An oxygen tank breaks, the damages are major and jeopardise the electrical energy which feeds the board computer and its clock.

  • In short: Without the accurate timekeeping provided by the Speedmaster-Pro, that allowed the ignition of the rocket motors at the right time and therefore a precise entry into the Earth athmosphere, the guys would surely still be in orbite….eternally, forever….

It is sad, but the best chronometer could have done nothing to save the Apollo 1 crew, burned to death during a mere simulation. That’s another story, about negligence and low budgets…

Speedmaster Professionelle

The small capsules at the top of the rockets progressed and then were replaced by spatial planes. Orbital stations were built and watches have adapted.

(officially tested by both sides during the Cold War).

But the Speedmaster-Pro has always remained the NASA’s favourite, the most tested watch in history. It’s also the one that left a lasting impression on us all, thanks to the pictures of the lunar strolls and the spacewalks.

(which produces, when removing, a brutal sound that evokes Brazilian waxing)

It should be noted that during those spacewalks, the Speedmaster-pro was solidly held around the space suits by a long Velcro band .

The watch allowed the astronauts to keep an eye on the time past during their spatial somersaults.
For us, the couch astronauts, a good Speedmaster-Pro on a white après ski down jacket sleeves would fit excellently, watching the movie Apollo 13 or even Gravity: Jack Daniels, large cigar, crocodile-skin boots on the corner of the table, space cow-boy style… this legendary watch can be seen in some movies about spatial adventure: the lesson has been well learned by Hollywood.

  • Let’s go back to our topic: as ordinary lizards, creatures of earth par excellence, do we need a Speedmaster-Pro?

Omega Speedmaster (7)

After several years spent with my loyal chronometer, here’s an answer:

  • 1. With a case of about 42mm in diameter (not too big, not too small) anyone can wear it: those who’ve got the Kermit the frog’s arms wouldn’t feel like they’ve got a pizza on the wrist, and the pigs in space would be able to wear it easily without looking like Miss Piggy.


  • 2. This watch can be worn on all occasions: from the Cannibal Corpse’s show to the worldly dinner with the Queen of Pyramids, the Speedmaster-Pro gives a sporty and adventurer air while being classic and perennially fashionable. It garantees you a serious and ballsy look, anytime, anywhere.


  • 3. Its pratically infallible movement and its Plexiglas dome which would survive any fall on the hardest tiles, allow you to wear it while dancing the most acrobatic Rock’n’Roll, during the most violent mosh, the wildest bar fights or the most decadent late evenings, almost without fear of losing the sense of time…


  • 4.It is very comfortable and perfectly takes place on the wrist: we can even sleep with it, since it has got soft and rounded lignes. It’s my favourite bed watch, even though the dial isn’t a gynaecologist torch. In case of a moon landing on your girlfriend, you’re sure you’ve got the adequate watch.


  • 5. This chameleon watch suits any kind of bracelet: from the military nylon to the classy crocodile… My favourite one is the mesh bracelet: it is very confortable and fits with every situation (the Omega fabrication is gorgeous). Start counting the compliments from the worst stuck-up Madam or the most unpleasant mother-in-law. Even if the Speedmaster-Pro looks simple, it gives an impression of quality while remaining humble.


  • 6.This watch goes down the dangerous areas unnoticed: you are not going to hear “gimme your Rolex, you dirty bougie!” because this piece with timeless lines doesn’t particularly attract the prying eyes of those who sell at the bus stops. If there is any doubt, strike first, hit hard, with no fear of damaging the watch: a ballsy man’s watch can’t be easily stolen!


  • 7. It can also become an absorbing subject of conversation with friends having had a few too many drinks. And when you show the back of the Speedmaster, the effect of surprise is guaranteed for those who don’t know: everyone’s heard about NASA… Reading the inscriptions, stupid drunk girls would think your own watch has been on the moon, you can make anything happen from there… another moon landing?


  • 8. Very convenient to measure the cooking time of your soft-boiled eggs or your “al dente” pastas… And also your lovemaking in a concert hall toilets or on office couches: the Speedmaster-Pro is always ready, even when you’re not! The tachometer bezel determines your speed between two points spaced one kilometre and from 60 to 500km/h: peaks of speed on the highway at 3am aren’t to be recommended, I’m only recommending the watch. (Pifpaf’s Intrusion: for “drag races” on the highway at 2 am, not seen, not taken.)


  • 9. This piece of watchmaking is “alive” and needs its master to make its heart beat: a daily winding appears as “a little spank on Geraldine’s bottom before she goes to work”. Routine is endearing, so why do without?


  • 10. Even if it’s not designed or guaranteed for bathing… Indeed, Omega only guarantees it up to 5 atmospheres (hand washing in a pub’s toilets after 12 Guinness?). Mine has been succesfully tested for 10 atm (under a bell, not at the pub): this watch can thus accompany you everywhere, except during a serious dive. From Sahara to North Cape, from +50 to -50 degrees, it’s always ready to serve. And if everything goes away, that you’re running out of hooch, that your pipe is broken, that the white blizzard takes you, or that you’re suffocating in a storm of burning sand, you’d better get a nice Omega, an astronaut’s mechanical watch on the wrist, rather than a Casio F91W, famous terrorist’s quartz watch.

To conclude:
Every man has a private relationship with time… some will live this experience wearing a watch worthy of the name, even if it’s not considered as luxurious.

  • If you can afford it, don’t miss the opportunity, especially if you’re massively balled.

Vi ses!

Omega Speedmaster (1)